If Bush actually promoted birth control...

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The downward spiral

I have a completely different mindset when living in BKK than living in BR. Living alone in a busy urban environment makes it more difficult to remain true to myself. What do I mean... without being surrounded by those people and things that have shaped my life thus far, I have to rely entirely upon the memory of those things to guide my decisions. When I am by myself for a while it is easy for me to slip into a kind of complacency, where my previously determined ambitions become less important and easy to shrug off.

On a separate note, things are not going well with Jah, I am sad to report. I suppose as a good blogger I should fill folks in on the details, but I just don't have it in me. Overall though, it's not that there's anything specifically wrong, it's just that the time we spent apart this last month seems to have also driven us apart emotionally. We didn't connect this weekend in any kind of satisfying way, and some things were said that will make it difficult to carry on. I've been thinking almost constantly about how to handle the situation and what is best for me for the future, and I think it's time to end it for good. But then I remember all of the good parts of the last few months and I hesitate. In other words, I think it's time that we broke up, but there's no animosity there... it just doesn't seem to be happening any more.

Things aren't all bad... I know this is a somber post. I'll have to good stuff to write again soon, I'm sure.

Thupt!

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Randomness I want to share

I saw this on a bulletin board as someone's sig - thought I'd share it with you.

Parental Advisory: This is ever so slightly naughty

The sig was:

Men have only two emotions, horny and hungry. If you see one without an erection, make him a sandwich.

:)

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Back... again

I made it back to Thailand!

The flight over was much better this time then my flight to the US. I think alot of it was my strategy. When I flew from BKK to the US I purposely slept as little as possible. I whiled away the hours reading and watching movies. The idea was to be dog tired when I arrived so that I could easily sleep that night (the plane touched down about 6 PM); one good night's sleep would help me quickly get over the jet lag.

Unfortunately it didn't work out like that... all I did by staying up for so long was give myself a headache, eye strain, and leave me physically weaked so that I developed a minor cold. It took a good 3 days to get over the jet lag - I was sleeping in the afternoon for most of the time with my parents!

On the way back I took a less extreme approach. When I was sleepy, I slept. I probably napped a good 4 or 5 hours of the flight, which made it go much faster. And when I landed I felt good, not like I had just been through a wilderness survival trial - you know, where you have to survive a night in the woods with nothing more than a swiss army knife and an egg. I woke up early the next day, and still am, but I was able to make it through till at least 6 or 7 at night and that is getting later every day.

It's a good thing, too, because I spent about 2 days here in BKK before boarding a flight to go to Bangladesh for a few days. I spent most of my time there installing Linux on a small office network and trying to setup a thin-client workstation. That was not entirely successfull, but close enough that I think I can easily complete the work when I return. We also spent one whole day around a conference table talking about the survey questions. UNICEF is spending the money for printing the questionairres and we had to finalize the forms within 2 days. The Bangladeshies had already printed some of the forms (don't know where they got the money for that...) and were using them in the field; that was a big suprise to learn half-way through the first day as we were revising those same forms. Mike and I believed that nothing was in the field yet - Mike almost went ballistic. Well, as ballistic as he gets. He's pretty much an ice man. But it was funny to see his eyes pop open when he realized the true situation.

I could write pages about Bangladesh... but most of it can be summed up with one fact: Transparency International just released it's 2005 Corruption Perception Index... Bangladesh is at the bottom of the list, with more perceived corruption that Haiti, Venenzuala, Russia, or any African country. That's bad.

My big unhappiness now is that I haven't yet seen Jah :( I've spent one Saturday night here but she had to go somewhere up country for a meeting. There's a chance I'll see her this weekend, but she may have to give a presentation on Sunday. I don't know yet, I should find out tonight. I'll be much happier once I've seen her again.

Oh, I've also signed up for Thai Language lessons. They begin next week.

Sawasdee!

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